On a related note, I’ve completely re-written my About page - spent the best part of my weekend doing that and I’m really happy with the result. I’ve added pictures, more information and a much improved structure. Do let me know what you think.

Self-knowledge

I’ve always valued self-awareness. Lately I haven’t been doing a very good job of knowing myself, although I still valued self-knowledge highly as was evident from my lauding personal development so much.

However, today marks a return to my enviably high self-awareness, as well as offering insight in to what happened to make it disappear. In essence, my character has changed markedly, which meant that my self-knowledge no longer reflected my self, leading to much confusion. The biggest change was my conversion from shyness, which has been the catalyst for a host of personality and practical changes in my life.

I realised that I’d been identifying as someone who draws energy from being alone, due to avoiding other people, due to being shy. I’m no longer shy and, now that I realise that, I can finally identify as someone who draws energy from others, who develops ideas by brainstorming and discussing things. I had a ‘Eureka!’ moment about this today, whilst at KCL Enterprises, thinking about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. (Previously I’d thought I was an INFP/INFJ, but I’m now sure I’m an ENFP).

Shyness

Shyness is a feeling of insecurity and awkwardness that certain people experience while being among others, talking with others, asking favors of others, etc.

Wikipedia: Shyness

When I stopped being shy, and how; plus 3 lessons to help you too

I actually don’t know the precise details of how and when I stopped being shy. I’ve self-identified as shy for so long that it’s really hard to realise I’m not shy any more - I have to make a conscious effort to remember!

One of the things that helped me to be less shy was acting confident. For example, working in retail means I have to interact with the public. I used to hate talking on the telephone, so I avoided answering it at work, but there’s only so long you can go on doing that. Over time, I got used to answering it and then moved on to initiating phone calls voluntarily and even willingly.

The first lesson is that acting confident can help you actually become confident.

Over the last two years, I’ve spent a lot of time with Ian, which has built up my self-confidence no end, because he’s so lovely to me. This definitely contributed significantly to my overcoming my shyness.

The second lesson: Self-confidence is a crucial factor in overcoming shyness.

One of my uni mates asked me how one can gain (increased) self-confidence, spending time with people who really appreciate you will do wonders. Once your confidence starts increasing generally, you’ll be able to increase your self-confidence with next to no effort because it will be natural for you to think of yourself in positive terms.

The third lesson: Seek out positive, nice people (like me!); they’ll be happy to have more friends too, so it’s mutually-beneficial.

Read & reflect on some of the things others have written about shyness too.

Helpful sites for shy people

• What Is Shyness?
  “Shyness means to feel a little scared when you’re around other people”
• Shy and Free
  Personal growth site dedicated to transforming shyness into wholeness and happiness
• Shykids.com
  “The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid” Claudia “Lady Bird” Johnson
• INFJ or INFP? A Closer Look (Update: Link added 21 Nov 2006)
  “Introverting” and “extroverting”… We all do both.” How do you work out which you are? Read on to find out.
• How to Go From Introvert to Extrovert (Update: Link added 21 Nov 2006)
  Steve Pavlina used to be introverted too: “In order to become an extrovert, I found that I had to overcome several blocks to being more extroverted.” Read on to find out how, and how to balance the two.