Hi! It's been a while, but here I am!
I'm really not sure what to write, all I know is that I'm not willing to let go of Inspire With Hope yet.
Since I last wrote, I…
The single most awesome thing I did this year was moving out of my parents' house. I really wondered if I had it in me to ever leave. I did! I've done *so much*, met so many wonderful people & deepened so many of my relationships in so many ways because I'm not there. I'm still really excited about all this seven months later.
So, what happened to my Web Stuff…?
Web Stuff, including Inspire With Hope, has been on the backburner for a long time whilst I sorted out my living & loving situations. I think I'm at a point where I can invest time & energy in it again (we'll soon find out… :)), so I'm working that out.
I've updated Kathleen Bright (dotcom)
I've got fresh stuff about to go up on Bright Portfolio too.
Squeebounce!
What about Inspire With Hope?
Some important things for entrepreneurship
- Creating independent streams of income – using enterpreneurship to increase wealth
- Challenging kyriarchy: Social enterprise & ethical business – using enterpreneurship to change the world
- Life balance (aka work-life balance)
I'll be seeing how it goes with updating Inspire With Hope; I'm really excited to be back, so it looks hopeful.
With thanks to Chisel for helping me write some of this post. :)
I've worked for Next on Saturdays for almost four years. I plan to leave at the end of the year. Consequently, completing my MA and leaving Next will signify a big change in my life: The beginning of my entrepreneurship career in earnest!
I had been worrying that not having a Saturday job might mean I start slacking off at the weekend. By which I mean that I'd be wasting my time being unproductive and boring – I don't want my Saturdays to be filled with rubbish television; I'd rather work!
I now know what I'll be doing on Saturdays – travelling!
I plan to do volunteer work (not entirely sure what yet, any suggestions?), green gyms (where you 'work out' in the open air through local, practical environmental or gardening work) and travelling home and abroad.
What do you think? Worthwhile enterprises or should I just stay in bed? Do let me know!
Posted on 13 February '07 by Kathleen Bright, under Personal. 1 Comment.
On 29th December 2006, I made some important goals for 2006. I've already modified and developed them, which is great because it's important to keep re-evaluating, so I'll be doing this once monthly.
My big goal for 2007: Escape with Courage
In 2006, I said it was Debt-free by December 2007 (excluding student loan). However, on reflection, this is a negative goal because it focuses on something I don't want, namely, debt. So, I've re-worded it to concentrate on something I do want, in the right spirit too: Financial abundance.
2007 is my year of independence
Financial abundance and all kinds of independence
Spatial independence, financial independence, personal independence. For this I need courage, so I'm doing things a courageous person would do. I'm going on my first mini-break without my parents next weekend. Scary & exciting.
I've succeeded in not buying clothing this January (not including my uniform, which I overlooked when setting goals) and am continuing to avoid spending on clothes and clutter in to February. Hurrah!
Student frugality
Being more frugal when it comes to eating out remains a challenge. However, my awareness of how much I'm spending is definitely growing and I feel more uncomfortable when spending a lot on food. I've even taken a packed lunch in this week!
KathleenBright.com
I'm working on exactly what kind of work I want to do, in addition to entrepreneurship: My thinking is that I want to raise capital via consultancy services etc before launching my business as planned upon completion on my postgraduate degree. To that end, at the end of February I implement, and in March I launch, KathleenBright.com. Exciting!
How to be vegan
I have a new challenge for February – becoming vegan. One of the things I want to be true this time next year is this: I'm a vegan healthnut. All I can do to achieve this it to act now, so I am. I'm currently vegetarian, by March I'll be vegan too. Wish me luck!
In addition, increased awareness about what I'm eating helps to keep me on the right path of a) spending reasonable amounts on food, especially when eating out and b) eating healthily. Brilliant when goals come together like that.
Beginners' steps, by a newbie vegan wannabe
- Stop eating and drinking obviously non-vegan products
Yes, lots of things have dairy and eggs in (like cakes) and it take a lot more effort to avoid those, so start with the easy things, like cheese.
- Use dairy-free & egg-free alternatives and substitutes (e.g. soya milk, tofu instead of egg).
Use the Internet to get help from a variety of helpful resources, e.g. VegFamily Magazine
- Go to restaurants that specify what's vegan – vegetarian restaurants tend to be very good at this, e.g. Food for Thought.
6 essays, 27th February
Studying & my MA Ethics & Philosophy of Religion
It's still difficult, but I do want to succeed, so I'm just getting on with it. I've started actually writing my first essay too, so that's all good. My goal here is to continue as I've started: Forging ahead with dedication and conscientiousness.
I'm still not getting enough sleep.
Interestingly, I was listening to another Pavlina podcast in which Erin, I think, asks questions like: Do you hate going to bed because you love doing what you do? Do you leap out of bed because you can't wait to start your day? For me, it's definitely yes to the former, but it's no to the latter because I'm just too shattered.
I'm changing this behaviour because I love being healthy, I love having boundless energy, I love waking up refreshed and ready to start the day.
I'll continue being passionate about what I do, which is currently All Things Bright mainly, but also writing, tidying, reading, coding (well, playing with HTML) and smiling.
However, I really need to get more sleep and I'd rather feel differently about mornings. So there's some conflict, which I'm resolving by experimenting with my sleeping patterns. I'm considering polyphasic sleep, but I'll need to re-read articles about it first.
In the meantime, I'm intending to get eight hours of sleep each night.
It's so difficult; there's so much to do.
Any suggestions? I suppose that the consensus will be, 'just go to bed!' But whatever it is, do let me know. Thanks in advance. :)
Update: I found an excellent article about sleep, which includes an exploration of chronic daytime sleepiness and other disorders. Plus, some practical remedies, including the science behind exercise, warm showers and milk. See: Tired all the time? 25 Jan
Posted on 24 January '07 by Kathleen Bright, under Health, Personal. 3 Comments.
Apparently, according to public opinion, today is the worst day of the year (reports vary as to the specific date, but the consensus is it's roughly now; plus, it's Monday today) – due to a mix of bad weather, the likelihood of having broken one's resolutions by now etc. But I'm actually pretty cheerful because I've been focusing on my goals.
If you've not been as successful as you'd like, don't let dates rule your life: You can have a fresh start whenever you like. If you have goals or resolutions, re-evaluate whether they're important to you. If they are, decide today that you're achieving them and stick to it! For some practical help, see some of my earlier entries: How to achieve your goals.
If you're on track or can see where you've improved, join me in recording your achievements. It'll re-awaken your drive to succeed and boost your confidence too. Incidentally, some people use Twitter to mention what random things they're doing at that very second, I use it to record my achievements.
I've made a lot of changes in my life recently. Some of them are good habits that were gradually developing a few months ago, but with the progress I've made I think my old self would be shocked.
Some of my recent achievements:
- I love fruit and veg! I'm actually going off chocolate and chocolate products (especially the cheaper, chalkier stuff). I eat apples as a snack. I enjoy broccoli and peppers especially, although potatoes and baked beans are still my favourite vegetables. Sometimes I opt for fruit salad instead of cakes, just because I want it. I'm vegetarian and I like it. I'm cutting down on milk and eggs too. I don't think snacks are evil though; I still enjoy cookies & ice-cream.
- I'm tidying my room. Over five bin bags of rubbish and about four massive bags of clothes to charity later, my room still looks, well, a mess. But I know that it's better than it was and I'm still working on it.
- I'm more dedicated. I always thought I was one of those people who wrote my goals down (very important, all the productivity gurus, personal development coaches and lifehackers will tell you so!). But I realised that I was occasionally writing bits and pieces on scraps of paper and never doing anything about it. Nowadays I'm doing lots of 30 day experiments, as well as reminding myself how to keep on track by reading books like Eat That Frog and people like Steve Pavlina.
- I'm getting eight hours of sleep each night. This one is taking a lot of work and I'll need to work harder to be more consistent with it, but I'm getting there.
- I'm using The Secret (also known as intention-manifestation and the Law of Attraction) with greater and greater success. For example, I intended £700 to come in to my life unexpectedly in January and beat that a week or two ago.
I'm doing more to enjoy my life too, especially keeping in touch with my friends, meeting new people and going to the cinema. Next on the list is making the time to read more (including books for study and books for pleasure) and, eventually, studying marketing in a more structured way.
All Things Bright is enabling me to get in touch with even more people. Hooray! I always love hearing from you, so do get in touch.
Lots of people ask me how to be happy. Some directly, for example, many All Things Bright readers. Some indirectly, for example, my friends & co-workers ask me how it is I'm always happy. Incidentally, I'm not always happy; I am human after all. :)
As far as I can recall, I first came to the belief that it's possible to make oneself happy when I read that in addition to being an expression of happiness, Â the physical act of smiling tends to make you feel happier too. I experimented with it a little and it worked. I have no idea where I first read this, but something like this:
We've talked before about how scientists know that smiling produces physiological changes in your body. And thanks to mirror neurons, we know that seeing someone else smile or laugh can trigger the same neurons reponsible for making us smile.
Creating Passionate Users: Who'd you make smile today?
7 steps to happiness
- Decide to be happy
- Listen to music
- Say thank you
- Be healthy
- Get inspired, creative and passionate
- Do what you like
- Discover (or create) your purpose
Plus, Realise when you don't want to be happy
1. Decide to be happy
I've read lots of articles about how to be happy. When I was feeling particularly down I sought out relevant articles and used what I found to write one myself: How to be happy, or Why you're sad and how to fix it.
Steve Pavlina's tips on becoming more confident work for becoming happier too. (For example, I use music a lot to make myself happy). I think this is because happiness and self-confidence are inter-related. If you're self-confident, you're happy to be you. So, increasing your confidence will increase your happiness too. See StevePavlina.com Podcast #012 – Building Confidence.
Creating Passionate Users: Angry/negative people can be bad for your brain: In this controversial post Kathy discusses the facts about happiness. What you choose to do with that information is up to you. Actually, it's not controversial, just had some bad reception, especially from people who didn't read it very carefully.
2. Listen to music
I have a 'feel good: happy' playlist, which won't be very helpful for you unless you already own that music or are willing to spend money on it. So, I'm offering £5 of iTunes credit to the first person who asks for it in a comment to this entry, that will at least get you started.
In addition, I really want to know if you create or know of free & legal 'happy' music and where I can get it. Unique marketing opportunity, so do let me know! I'm interested in uplifting music, upbeat tunes, happy & inspirational lyrics… that sort of thing, humorous ones too. Please get in touch.
My 'feel good: happy' playlist
I have three 'feel good' playlists: energy, happy and inspire.
Energy: For when I need/want to stop procrastinating and just get on with it. The best track is Disturbed: Liberate, which is a hard-hitting rock/metal tune, with strong beats and baseline.
Happy: For when I'm feeling a bit down or mopey. Lots of cheesy pop tunes here. The best track is Suzanne Vega: Book of Dreams, which is really light & upbeat.
Inspire: For when I need/want more confidence. There are some really thoughtful songs in there too, to remind myself about how beautiful the world is, how brilliant human beings are, the strength of potential, things like that. The best tracks are R. Kelly: The World's Greatest, real ego booster! Christina Aguilera: I Will Be, which is about being strong & independent and Twista ft Faith Evans: Hope, which is really sweet, it has some sad themes but the triumph of the human spirit really makes me smile.
3. Say thank you
Kathy Sierra calls it a 'smile journal':
Try to write down every little thing that caused you to smile when you interacted with a product or service or person, and look for a pattern (or at least some ideas you can use)… If the notebook is nearly blank at the end of two weeks, time to rent some Monty Python.
Creating Passionate Users: Who'd you make smile today?
Being optimistic helps you to be happy and saying thank you helps you to be optimistic.
4. Be healthy
I've written about this a lot recently, especially in Power of three: Goal-setting: Health (1 of 3)
Mind Petals: A Healthy Entrepreneur Is A Wealthy Entrepreneur David Askaripour wrote this with entrepreneurs in mind, I think because we're more likely to let our health suffer, but it's relevant for everyone: If you want to be successful, you need to be healthy. (Incidentally, I disagree with his definitions: I agree that true wealth is about more than money, but I think happiness is a better word for 'having it all', because I associate happiness with more than 'just' pleasure. Hedonism is not happiness. Never mind, the language doesn't really matter: He calls it wealth; I call it happiness).
5. Get inspired, creative and passionate
I've no idea how much this will be true for other people, but I will abstract as much as I can: I identify as a creative and I really value creativity, so feeling inspired and creative infuses my perception of myself with happy feelings of confidence, self-worth and such.
What are your passions? What do you value? Do you know? If you don't, focus on finding out. If you do, nurture these in yourself.
See: eMoms at Home: Why do Entrepreneurs Need Inspiration?
6. Do what you like
I love singing & dancing. I can't do either well, but that's okay. I love spending time with my friends too. I love feeling productive. I love helping people to be happy. What do you love doing?
7. Discover (or create) your purpose
Get started with this excellent article by Alvin Soon: Life Coaches Blog: Start Your New Year In The Best Direction. Then continue with anything and everything by Steve Pavlina; slightly tongue-in-cheek, but I do find him very helpful; try his podcast #015 – What Is Your Purpose? which I recommended in my last entry too: Stability, security, sortedness: How to feel certain, or How to be okay with uncertainty
Bonus: Realise when you don't want to be happy
Sometimes I don't feel like cheering up. Sometimes I just want to mope. Sometimes I don't want to be happy.
Usually when that happens I'll listen to my 'sad' playlist (mostly schmoopy lovesongs, e.g. Easther Bennett: First Time Ever I Saw Your Face) to get it out of my system or I'll get away from myself for a little while, e.g. by sleeping. (Chris Hamilton has some more suggestions for how to get away from yourself, read his excellent book, Living Philosophy).
It's okay not to be happy all the time, the important thing is to be happy when you want to be happy.
I really hope this entry helps you; please let me know how you get on.
In talking to two of my classmates about life today, I discovered that it's not just me: My peers want (some areas of) their lives to be settled too.
I don't write about romance & related topics on here very often (never before today actually), but I want to note two things:
- The idea of 'settling down' in the manner typical of most of the world (i.e. marriage) is not my ideal.
- However, there are some things I like about that idea that I'd appreciate having now.
Chief of these is the stability involved, the certainty (or illusion of it, perhaps), knowing – as Will put it – that one area of my life is sorted.
Reflections: Happy with (some) uncertainty
I'm happy to spend the rest of my life deciding what to do with it. (I think very few people share this feeling). However, I'd really appreciate having something reliable somewhere in my life. In the past this was a role imperfectly played by a best friend figure. I say imperfectly because, blessedly, I never managed to completely rely on anyone – just as well, otherwise it would be much harder to adjust now.
For a variety of reasons, it's untenable for anyone to hold that position now. For example, not having the benefit of an institution where I, along with my friends, must spend over seven hours of each weekday in one place means I just don't see any one person nearly as often as I used to see school friends. (Incidentally, this is what I've found is the hardest thing to adjust to socially since leaving school; 4.5 years on I'm still adjusting to it).
All of this leads me to believe something you may have anticipated already: The only person you can truly rely on is you. This needn't be distressing or depressing, because you're always with yourself, you can't let yourself down by not turning up, for example. It probably means you need to get to know yourself better though. I'm sure this is true of myself, even though I know myself well, after all, there's that picture of the self where 90% of ourselves is unknown to us.
I find that the challenge is knowing I'm becoming myself, accepting that with good grace and yet still being happy to rely on myself, even though I'm 'in transit', so to speak. On with the practical advice!
Solutions: How to feel sorted; what works for me
I'm not always happy.
Many people ask me, perplexed, 'How come you're always happy?!' I'm not. However, I do have a very strong belief that I can make myself happy, so I'm (almost) always happy or in the process of making myself happy. I'm currently writing an entry 'How to be happy' in which I give practical advice based on my personal experiences, look out for it this Saturday.
The reason I'm happy with taking my time to work out my life's purpose is because I have some pretty clear ideas about how I might do that. I'm answering the question 'What shall I do?' as I move through life, I don't feel the need to answer it definitively, once and for all at one point in my life (e.g. now).
So, here's what works for me: Knowing what my purpose is or, rather, working on finding out & creating it. Steve Pavlina has some excellent ideas on how to do this, I particularly recommend you listen to his podcast: #015 – What Is Your Purpose?
Dedication: Rachel, thank you for inspiring this entry.
How do I know I can get what I want?
Because I am! So can you.
For a week, I've been thinking about two things I really want: Pencils and a camera. Specifically, I wanted Ikea pencils because they're free, small and seem to be a little harder than the regular HB grade (and therefore smudge less). I've only actively wanted the camera for a couple of days.
So, I started tidying my room again yesterday, for four hours. I felt really energised doing this. Simultaneously, I listened to Steve Pavlina and Escape from Cubicle Nation podcasts, so that really helped to inspire me: When I'm writing, I listen to music. When I'm tidying, I now listen to personal development, entrepreneurship & other inspirational podcasts, as well as comedy shows, especially The Ricky Gervais Show & Russell Brand.
In this decluttering session I found:
- My amazing digital camera (Kodak EasyShare LS633), which I lost in my room ages ago. I love this camera because it's so intuitively easy to use and has a dock to both charge and print photos without connecting to a computer.
- Loads of pencils. Tons of them. After a while I was laughing and telling the universe, 'Okay, I get it, The Secret works!' What was especially 'a sign' to me is that I found a load of tiny pencils, just as I'd – unintentionally – visualised.
- I really am a tidy person at heart: Seeing all this space emerge from under the clutter makes me smile. When I got home today to wide open spaces I felt joy.
So, my desk is really tidy now, which is making me grin inanely – finally I have a proper workspace! I've added inspiring slogans (like 'Creativity is what drives me' and my cuddly lion holding a sign saying 'Have courage'), photographs (just like a 'real' office) and loads of stationery, but in an organised way.
I filled another bin bag, plus another massive bag of charity shop stuff and some stuff I'm hoping to return for store credit, which I'll then be able to giveaway (seeing as I'm not accumulating stuff for a while).
Interestingly, I found a purse that exactly matched what I've wanted for some time now (months). Yay!
Some simple explanations: The Law of Attraction, Intention Manifestation and The Secret
Confused? Well, it is confusing.
They're all names for the same thing: The way to get what you really want. I imperfectly understand and I know that it works.
Erin Pavlina has explained it really clearly and comprehensively in StevePavlina.com Podcast #017 – Placing Your Order With the Universe. Really, it's the best, most down-to-earth explanation I've ever come across – I've been paraphrasing it to my friends.
The Secret is another excellent explanation and it's free to one reader of All Things Bright.
Strangely enough, I saw The Secret and then listened to this podcast, thinking how similar the two explanations are It was only when I listened to the podcast again that I realised Erin mentions The Secret. Spooky!
So, what do you think? Are you dismissing this as wishful thinking or are you experimenting with it now? Have you seen it working for you already?
Posted on 16 January '07 by Kathleen Bright, under Personal. 4 Comments.
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How to re-think your perspective
Kathleen Bright: Not ‘I need', instead ‘I want' or, How to get things done, changing your perspective. Don't forget to focus on how much you want to do what you need to do. If you're prone to procrastination, get as much help as you can, including changing the way you think about your goals.
- David Seah: Productivity through Discomfort. Stepping outside your comfort zone is a great idea! Plus, the only way to test your limits is to keep going until you fail. This is also the only explanation or justification for the crazy amount of stuff on my to do list. :)
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Failure
Failure is okay!
- Kathleen Bright: Power of three: Goal-setting: Business (3 of 3). Really, failure is good. Failure is proof you tried.
- Kathleen Bright: Power of three: Goal-setting: Studying (2 of 3). Conquering failure is difficult because of fear.
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Fear
Mind Petals: Fear Based Decisions are the Wrong Decisions.
- Yes, it's hard to face your fears, but it's worth it.
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Help
If in doubt, say thank you.
- Keep saying it.
- Watch (or read) The Secret for some inspiration, including why saying thank you helps.
- You can get 'The Secret' free if you hurry, because I think it's that great and I want you to see it.
- Tubetorial: Back Up Your Blog or Risk Losing It All. It happened to me, it could happen to you too…
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Making money with blogging is not a quick fix
In order to make money you need to have a product or service that people want to buy.
- Products can be easier because they're usually tangible.
- Content is an example of something that straddles the product/services divide.
- Yaro Starak: Can professional blogging be a sustainable business model? In order to be successful, (some) people need to love your content.
- Tom Peters: Love Thine "Enemy"! It's Good Business! Love is important in all areas of life, including business.
- Dazzlin' Donna: Becoming an authority. It's important for bloggers to participate in their niche communities. Plus, you should participate out of love for your niche.
- Pamela Slim: Create your media plan for 2007! Planning is important.
- But acting, a.k.a. execution, is even more important.
- Especially if you're prone to procrastination.
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Personal life lessons
Life gets more and more complicated each year. Well, mine has so far!
- Love is sometimes the problem, as well as the solution.
- You can get too much of a good thing, e.g. education and academia: Being a student isn't all it's cracked up to be.
- Entrepreneurship is for me!
- Escape is the best idea I've ever had – i.e. moving out of my parents' house – I just need to implement it.
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Goals
It's easier to refrain from spending than I first thought.
- How to Set Goals for the New Year. Just remember to have clearly defined goals so you can't wriggle out of them (which tends to be a problem with many New Year resolutions).
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Health
Kathleen Bright: Power of three: Goal-setting: Health (1 of 3). Health is important for everyone, including entrepreneurs.
- Mind Petals just emphasised the importance of health too.
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Happiness
Kathleen Bright: How to be happy, or Why you're sad and how to fix it. Happiness is an interesting topic.
- You are the only one who can make you happy.
- Other people and things can help or hinder, as you will it.
- Steve Pavlina: Making Decisions That Stick: "Once you reach a certain level of conscious development, you gradually de-couple your happiness from external events. You loosen your attachment to circumstances and learn to feel good regardless of what happens."
- On Philosophy: The Good Life. Some people think that the pursuit of happiness is a bad idea.
- Needless to say, I disagree.
- I find that music really helps me to change my mood and would love your suggestions for happy music.
- Making myself happy and making others happy are the two aims that define my life.
- Entrepreneurship is my tool to achieve these aims.
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Wealth & money
Steve Pavlina: Making Money Consciously. Being wealthy is not the same as being rich.
- It's hard to remember that when you're poor.
- Being frugal is an excellent way to remind oneself of the unimportance of stuff.
- Being a student helps you to be frugal because there are few other options. :)
- There are lots of useful site out there that can help you be frugal.
- Get Rich Slowly: Debt elimination is possible, even for students.
- Life Coaches Blog: Saving your money can become fun, even addictive!
- Mind Petals: If you want to be rich, make it one of your goals.
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"Energy flows where attention goes"*
John Richardson: Goals: Create The Gallery of Your Life. Don't forget to intend your goals. Visualisation is one powerful method for achieving. *From 'The Secret'.
- Steve Pavlina: Manifesting Intentions Without Resistance. Role-playing is another good way of doing that.
- Lorelle VanFossen: Blog Challenge: What Have You Learned This Year? Blogging challenges are great for writing ideas and for extra traffic. Thanks Lorelle!
I call it Detoxing My Life, Jon Tillman calls it the War Against Stuff.
Whatever name you have for it, if you're a hoarder (like myself) you'll recognise the immense challenge clearing out presents, as well as the value of it.
I spent all of Friday throwing away stuff (two bin bags full) and sorting out stuff (piles of paper). I found my passport, my locker key and a bag of brand new clothes (which I returned today, for a full refund). So much time and money saved! I filled three massive carrier bags with goodies for charity shops too and got rid of that today.
I have some clear space in my room! Yay!
Help is at hand: Your 'declutter it!' resources
- Life organisers: How to organise your clutter for an array of resources; for practical tips, see Life organisers: Tackle your clutter.
- It's Not About Your Stuff… Jessica offers advice at her blog, in accordance with her mission to help people with "letting go of the things in their life that no longer serve them". See her site – inperfectorder.com – for more help.
- Lighter Footstep (due for release later this month), "for people who want to live lighter, more sustainable lives". If you want to declutter more than your house or room, you might want to look in to this site by Chris Baskind, who defines Minimalism as "the balance of that which is desirable and necessary". Looks like it'll be interesting so I'll definitely be writing about it in future.
- Relationship Between Clutter and Debt? "By choosing to have less… I tend to value it more." An interesting take on the cost of clutter, definitely worth a thought or two.
- Clutter Awareness Week is the third week in March, but why wait until then? Get a headstart on your spring cleaning, with these tips, by starting NOW! :)
Bonus link: Hate housework? Here's an easy alternative. Humour! Not for the squamish or those who dislike creepy crawlies.
Summary
Okay, so if (like my parents) you find it super-easy to be neat and tidy, you probably think I am making a mountain out of a molehill. However, if you'd like some help, well, that's the purpose of this entry. In the meantime, I'm going to get some sleep tonight, ready for another day of decluttering tomorrow.
Do let me know how you get on, won't you?
Fear Based Decisions are the Wrong Decisions, Mind Petals
I have a choice to make about my education and fear is pushing me towards a decision I know is completely wrong for me. Now I'm doubly terrified, because I'm fearful of making the wrong decision out of fear. Aagh!
But how do I have the courage to quote unquote "feel the fear and do it anyway"?
Any words of wisdom? Or maybe you're in a similar position wondering how to be strong? Do let me know and we can commiserate and support each other. :)
In the meantime, I'll focus on saying thank you more, in order to get myself in the right frame of mind for really figuring out what I want. I like to say thank you.
Watch The Secret
On a related note, if you haven't seen The Secret, do! I highly recommend it. (Thank you to Jessica, from It's Not About Your Stuff for letting me know about this inspirational film). It was available to watch online for free, but no longer: $4.95 for the online version, or $29.95 for the DVD.
Free for you!
I'm not affiliated with The Secret in any way, I just think it's brilliant. Which is why I'll buy either the online version or the book for the first person to request one in a comment to this entry. Just let me know which one you'd like.
N.B. The online version is worth $4.95 and is not compatible with Intel Macs computers. The book is worth $23.95/£9.99 and is currently available from Amazon for $14.37/£5.99.
Lessons from life or, Things I've learnt this year
Fear is a motivating factor in many of my actions, or rather, in many of my reasons & excuses not to act.
Action points
- Continue self-awareness of when I'm feeling fear and why.
- Change goals and actions in the face of rational fears to address valid reasons for not acting.
- Act in the face of irrational fears to diminish fear and accomplish my goals. [link: see Shyness post].
Dreams: Over-arching aims & big goals for next year
Debt-free by December 2007 (excluding student loan)
Because financial independence is something I dream about and it's the one thing that would make the most positive difference to my life.
Difficulties
- Clothes: I love shopping, especially with all those sales! I acknowledge that sale shopping is about the positive feelings in finding bargains and 'winning' against shops (especially over-priced ones). However, I don't want to spend all my money on clothing, there is much more to life! So, spend in the sales, fine, but no spending on clothes at all for the first 30 days of January.
- Eating out: Represents more to me than just food; it's socialising, spending time with friends, meeting new people, trying something new, having something familiar… I don't want to stop eating out, so I think the aim is to discover interesting and reasonably-priced places and return. For example, I liked the Mongolian Barbeque restaurant, so I should definitely go back there. In addition, there's a vegetarian restaurant I love, Food For Thought, which I've been reluctant to write about because it's already so popular that it's often over-crowded (victim of its own success) and my review would be positive, possibly making it more so!
Goals: Action points
- Save: Nurture passion for student frugality & saving
As a full-time student, I have good reason for being poor and for not splashing out. When will I next have excuse to be stingy?!
- Change attitude to money
On one level I know that money is not all-important, that wealth is something one creates, that money has merely exchange value etc. I need to gather these thoughts in to a single coherent, all-encompassing & empowering belief about money, something that inspires me to save and not spend.
- Change attitude to shopping
Buying clothes for myself means I have less money for eating out and therefore for spending money on myself and others (spending money on others because they thereby get the benefit of my company). So, eating out is more desirable all-round.
- Focus on more important things
Like my MA, my business (Ethical Beads), friends, good living (i.e. above all things meaningful living, but also happiness for others: giving/ethical/benevolent, happiness for me: pleasant/enjoyable/healthy – in doing all these at once, I achieve the ultimate end of life).
Studying & my MA Ethics & Philosophy of Religion
Difficulties
- Procrastinating. Out of fear? Fear of failure? Laziness?
- It's hard!
- Essay-writing, blah
Goals: Action points
- Change attitude to writing essays, on some level I want to write essays… bring that out more.
- Just get on with it! Start earlier too.
- More self-awareness (reading & reflecting) to identify and face my fears.
Entrepreneurship & professional blogging
Difficulties
- Making time
- Facing my fears of failure & success
Goals: Action points
- Work on All Things Bright & Ethical Beads. For details, see my forthcoming entry on Sunday, New Year's Eve. Update: Review of design & content, 31 Jan
My working & sleeping today
First day of the Next sale (it's online too, at next.co.uk, open 6am – 1am). So, today, I worked for over ten hours, in the ladies' shoes department. Ten!
Such a contrast with the quiet family Christmas a couple of days before, without which who knows if I could have survived today!
When I got home I was exhausted, naturally. I was hungry too. So I snacked quickly then went to bed, even though I really wanted to sit down and have dinner with my mum.
Woke up about an hour ago and felt so much more human again; it's amazing. I realised, wow, it really does make a massive difference to get enough sleep!
The philosophy behind my experience
Chris Hamilton (one of my lecturers) has an insightful chapter 'The Need for Sleep' (in his book Living Philosophy, which you can buy from Amazon.co.uk & from Amazon.com). I was going to summarise it, but upon re-reading it I've realised it's so rich that skimming it would do it no justice. Chris explores literature as well as our experiences of sleep and thoughts about it to discuss the meaning of sleep.
So, from now on, or at least for the next 30 days, I'm doing a new experiment: 8 hours of sleep daily for the next 30 days. I'm very lucky because I can fall asleep almost instantly, so all I need to do is go to bed eight hours before I want to get up. Easy!
More thoughts & feelings about chilling
Thinking about it, many of my friends extol the benefits of relaxing frequently, especially Ibiji & Immy, who seem to imbue their lives with these kind of thoughts about chilling.
Ian & Robert often remind me to relax instead of cramming so much in to my life, and they're right: Failing to relax leads to stress, which ultimately leads to inefficiency as well as ill health, so cramming is counter-productive.
Help sleeping and relaxing more
Some excellent books that may help you if you'd like to sleep and relax more too.
…and to all a good night!
I've had a jolly Christmas. Massive lunch, lots of comedy television and a night in front of the computer.
I'm sure I should write something about the evils of over-indulgence or something, but I'm too smiley. Hurrah for joy!
Posted on 25 December '06 by Kathleen Bright, under Personal. 1 Comment.
Today I've been thinking about New Year's Resolutions.
I'm not going to make any.
Rather, I'd prefer to view my life as something I can start afresh whenever I like. Instead of resolutions, I'll be setting goals.
My main goal is to be debt-free by December 2007 (excluding my student loan).
This is going to be an interesting one because I love shopping and, currently, saving is hardly amongst my favourite activities. However, financial independence is something I dream about and is the one thing that would make the most positive difference to my life.
So, here are some ideas I've got for achieving financial independence:
Hmm, shockingly ground-breaking…(!)
I'll be able to do this, so long as I focus on the fact that I want to do this, rather than seeing it as an imposition on how I'd rather live my life. Yes, choices, not restrictions.
Another reason for making sure Ethical Beads is a runaway success.